THE BOOK OF KRAUTS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF GÖTTERDÄMMERUNG

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CHAPTER 1
1 aOn the continent of Europe, there was a place called Germany located to the east of France,
2 bUnfortunately for France,
3 cAnd the continent of Europe,
4 dAnd the rest of the world.
5 The fact is, the Germans have had some problems over the years,
6 But wanted to be the eChosen Nation anyway,
7 Which didn't work out,
8 fIn a big way.
9 This is their gstory.

CHAPTER 2
1 For many many years, there was no Germany at all,
2 But just a place where a lot of different barbarian tribes lived,
3 hIncluding the Goths and Visigoths and Ostrogoths,
4 iAnd the Vandals and Visivandals and Ostrovandals,
5 jAnd the Angles and Visiangles and Ostroangles,
6 kAnd the Saxons and Visisaxons and Ostrosaxons,
7 lNot to mention the Huns.
8 mHaving helped all they could to destroy the Roman Empire,
9 nThe barbarians didn't feel like becoming a nation for a long while,
10 oAnd spent the first part of the Middle Ages drinking beer and having little wars with each other.
11 Back then, nobody got too upset with the Germans,
a.Psom.77.1-2
b.Psay.5Q.56
c.Barb.4.18
d.Brit.52.15
e.Exp.1.4-5
f.Brit.49.15
g.Wil.21.1-19
Ann.18.11
h.Barb.2.1-3
i.Barb.2.4-7
j.Barb.2.10
k.Barb.2.11
l.Barb.2.9
m.Barb.1.2
n.Barb.2.15-19
o.Barb.4.13
p.Lies.9.6
q.Psom.17.9
r.Ext.53.21
s.Ed.63.2
t.Chr.2.28-30
u.Ann.17.11-13
v.Gnt.1.13
w.Gnt.11.2-10
12 pEven though they ate too many pork dishes,
13 qIncluding sauerkraut,
14 And therefore got a reputation for being fat stupid Krauts,
15 Like they were pigs or something,
16 rWhich maybe explains why the other Europeans decided that all the pig farms and cabbage fields east of the Rhine were a separate country,
17 And figured they must belong to the Krauts,
18 Because nobody else really wanted them.
19 sBut the Krauts were pretty happy about it,
20 And suddenly got very excited about being a nation,
21 tAnd even started calling themselves the Holy Roman Empire,
22 Which might have been their way of getting warmed up for later on,
23 Although everybody else thought it was pretty silly,
24 uSince who would ever believe that a bunch of fat stupid Krauts could ever have an empire?

CHAPTER 3
1 But it wasn't true that the Krauts were stupid, which other Europeans began to notice during the vRenaissance,
2 wWhen it turned out that Martin Luther was one of the very best ever at the Protestant Reformation game,