CHAPTER 371 The cars were all white,
2 And all convertibles,
3 And there was also a huge motorcycle escort,
4 Made up of a whole bunch of Angels,
5 Which maybe made the people in Harry's hometown think he was somebody important,
6 aAnd probably explains why so many of them lined the streets to cheer as Harry drove by,
7 bNot to mention all those free pretzels,
8 cAnd all that free beer.
CHAPTER 381 Some of the followers were tired from the plane trip,
2 And the beer,
3 And the other stuff they'd been washing down with the beer,
4 dAnd they wanted to go to a nice hotel,
5 And relax,
6 But Harry was in a celebrating mood,
7 And wanted to speak to all his new friends,
8 eIn some special and symbolic place,
9 And so the parade went to a dark and nasty part of town,
10 And stopped when it got to the fLiberty Bell.
CHAPTER 391 Then Harry got out of the car,
2 And toasted the hundreds and hundreds of people who were waiting to hear him speak,
3 And cleared his throat with something one hundred proof,
|
|
4 Unless it was more than one hundred proof,
5 And commenced to talk.
CHAPTER 401 Citizens of Philadelphia, he began,
2 I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to be back home,
3 In the City of Brotherly Love,
4 Which has always been one of my favorite gjokes.
5 Of course, there have been many great hjokes throughout history,
6 Including ihistory itself,
7 Which has been one incredibly long-running situation comedy,
8 Which means that the jend of every episode is completely predictable,
9 Although I feel you should know that not every comedy has a happy kending,
10 lBecause there just aren't any gods left to come down from the ceiling,
11 And fix everything.
CHAPTER 411 But I'm not telling you anything new.
2 After all, you've been living in Philadelphia for your whole lives,
3 And you've already learned that comedies can turn out badly,
4 mWhich has maybe made you feel bad in the past,
5 But that's why I have come back,
6 Because there is no more need for you to feel bad,
7 nOr even to worry about anything at all,
|