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11 Especially if you're a Harrier,
12 In High School.

CHAPTER I
1 aI is for I.
2 Which is the only authority the little Idiots recognize,
3 bSince they've never had any Interest in anyone else's viewpoint,
4 Even if they don't have what you'd call a well-developed sense of cIndividual Identity,
5 Which makes Instruction even more Irritating for Dick and Jane,
6 Because they feel pretty much the dIdentical way,
7 And it's Infuriating that they have to put up with so much Insolence from all the Ingrates in their classrooms,
8 When it's Intrinsically Indicated that they should be obeyed Implicitly,
9 If not Idolized,
10 Because they're such Impressive Intellectuals,
11 As all the Insipid Instigators of Educational "Improvement" would be able to Infer,
12 If they were at all Informed,
13 Or Intelligent,
14 Or even Involved,
15 Instead of Irresponsible,
16 And Injurious,
17 And downright Invidious,
18 Which they are,
19 As Dick and Jane would be the first to Imply,
20 If they knew what Invidious meant.

CHAPTER J
1 J is for Justice,
a.Psay.5I.1-6
b.Wil.37.1-7
Mall.8.1-8
c.Kens.12.25
d.Hill.1.3
e.Penn.9.11
f.Mawr.15.19-22
g.Wil.38.1-3
h.Wil.33.5-6
i.Ann.18.10-26
j.Hill.W.1-8
k.Gnt.4.20
l.Ext.52.16
m.Carl.3.8
n.Main.15.1-6
o.Ned.8.2-6
2 Which Dick and Jane would absolutely demand,
3 If there were any such thing as Justice,
4 eWhich there Just isn't,
5 If you're following the Way of Harry,
6 Which is why Dick and Jane are so dejected,
7 Unless they're actually Jubilant instead,
8 Which they couldn't be,
9 Because absolutely everyone wants Justice,
10 Unless you're a Harrier,
11 And would rather be the Judge yourself,
12 And the Jury,
13 And Just make up the Jurisprudence as you go,
14 fWhich beats Justice by a country mile.

CHAPTER K
1 K is for gKnowledge,
2 Which is the whole purpose of education,
3 And explains why Dick and Jane don't have to think about it anymore,
4 Because they already got their education,
5 hYears ago.

CHAPTER L
1 L is for iLove,
2 Which would solve all the problems in the jworld,
3 And explains why Dick and Jane don't have to teach kphilosophy anymore,
4 lOr religion,
5 mOr political science,
6 nOr civics,
7 Since it was the oLuminaries in Dick and Jane's generation who discovered Love in the first place,